Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
