You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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