then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
