the new term for farting is butt boxing.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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