i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
