she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
