I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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