Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
