MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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