Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
