I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize