Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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