What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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