Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
be right there i have to get my cape
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
