She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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