I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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