I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Say something about gay babies.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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