We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
