She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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