why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
