Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
