Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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