so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize