Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
