can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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