so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
