She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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