Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
