i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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