So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
