ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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