You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
