Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
