8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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