I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
