I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
you made out with another girl for some wings
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
