Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize