looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
