I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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