from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
