I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My vagina is officially offended.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize