Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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