RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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