Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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