I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
birth control should be required to get into college
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize