You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The air was thick with penises
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
