he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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