Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
