i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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