first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
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