You're my little dorito
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize