Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
