I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i drank out of a bidet.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Someone signed my nipple.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize