Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
