hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
