Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
