please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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