For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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