remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
we're so committed to being not committed
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
