In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
operation harelip BJ is a go
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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