Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
