Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
